Sometimes I want to quit. No, scratch that. Sometimes I think I should quit. Quit blogging. Quit drawing. Quit writing. Because if I did, then I would have more time to focus on my family, on my kids while they are this little. Time to focus on those priorities without being distracting by making time to stick to an update schedule, or to interact with other bloggers, and actively build my blog.
But, really, that’s just a rationalization for defeat. Self-defeat. I do make some money doing this whole internet thing, mostly from art commissions, but it’s not really about that. It’s about me, and about me beyond being Momma. And I don’t think the solution is to give up on finding time to be myself and have a selfish outlet, but rather to just manage my time better and be in whatever moment I’m in completely. If it’s blogging time, do blogging (not Pinterest), and if it’s play time, don’t think about the dishes, or the laundry, or the blog, just think about playing with the kids. There’s time for both, and there’s value in both. I just need to remember to really be here, with all of my self, and enjoy it all.
Even the hard parts.
I think I can do that. I am okay with this. So, I’ll see you later, and I really mean it.