I always forget about the creepy crawly critter influx that happens when Spring begins, up until it starts happening. Creepy crawlies go from the ocassional indoor discovery to ALL THE DAMNED TIME. Spiders are fine. Outside. I am a highly evolved and well-educated mammal and I’m sorry, but I’m still afraid of spiders. And bugs. Especially ones with extra legs or that crunch especially loud or that come within three feet of me.
First, there was one of those translucent itty bitty garden spiders that was chilling on my water glass. Being light colored and translucent, I noticed it when the glass was about 6 inches from my mouth. Which is better than after taking a drink, I suppose. Next day, there was some little black and orange bug in my toothbrush. Today, I was putting the kids’ laundry in the washing machine and as I went to grab the next thing, BAM! Ginormous spider in the hamper.
At least he wasn’t on something that goes in my mouth this time. Like a cookie. How gross would that be?! I’ll get a new water glass out, no problem! New toothbrush? FINE. But I’m noting that down as a 67 cent loss from early toothbrush disposal, right there in the Why Spiders and Insects are Evil column. A cookie? Don’t even think about making me throw away a cookie.
Preach on! I hate creepy crawlers in my home. I have an unwritten rule with spiders: as long as they stay above head-level on the walls, they can stay. Drop below that line? EXTERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.
I’m on the third floor, so I don’t see many bugs inside thankfully, but the occasional earwig creeping across the floor gets me moving almost as quickly as the Flash.